What do you see?

"AARgh!" I yell, as I bite my lower lip and fall flat on my face. I've just managed to stub my toe on the shoe rack near my front door, and am now laying face down on the floor.

"Yer, Ok?" Consuela asks from the living room. I don't respond right away because the pain is travelling up my right leg.

Unconcerned, Consuela goes back to reading the paper. I have no idea what she's doing; it's not like her English is that good. And, I'm pretty sure, she's not very literate -- but she likes to read it on the couch in the mid-afternoon. It's a replacement for Esmerelda con Amore.

"Yeah," I whisper a minute or two later, "I just stubbed my toe." I roll over on to my back and extend my leg in the air to see how bloodied and bruised my toe is. After a short inspection it looks fine, and so I brush myself off, and walk over to Consuela.

"Whatchya reading?" I ask her as I plunk down beside her on the couch. She places the paper down in front of us. There's the original inkblot tests printed in the lifestyle section. The columnist is arguing on the archaicness of it all; and so I skim through some of the article while Consuela explains to me what she's discovered.

"Look, Mia. Dis iz pictures and dey want to know what yer can see." she says. I think she thinks this is something unknown to me. She's fascinated by the various inkblots and so, she begins to point to them as asks me what I see. I figure this is a fun enough game, and decide to play along. After all, I've just pitched a lot of my stuff around all morning and could use a break.

"Umm..." I start as I stare at one of them. "I see two people holding hands and dancing. See...this one is the guy, and this one is the girl. There are hearts floating around them. And they're wearing 1950s type of clothes."

Consuela scratches her head and squints at the picture a little more. "I iz don't see dat, Mia. Itz a frog." she says matter-of-fact. It's obvious she is correcting me.

"This one here..." I start, "I see two elephants kissing each other with their trunks." I'm curious now to see what she sees.

"Noooo, Mia!" she yells in frustration, "Itz a pumpkin!" she says in a huff, and begins to wriggle around in agitation.

"And dis one," she starts before I have a chance to annoy her again, "dis one iz da coyote, and dis one iz da bat, and dis one iz da white witch, and dis one iz da alien, and dis one iz d'another alien, and diz one...diz one..." she deliberates, "diz one iz da devil. You no see it, Mia?" she says.

"All I can see is two fairies dancing with each other and for some reason they're holding pom poms, so maybe they're cheerleaders -- but those could also be crabs," I say. I'm being honest, but I know it is irritating the hell out of her.

"You iz CurRAZY MIA!" she yells at me and grabs the newspaper off the table.

"Maybe," I agree with her and walk back to my laptop. I mean, what kinda person only sees lovey dovey disney stuff in a Rorschach test anyways? I shake my head because I really can't see anything else and resign to be a true hopeless romantic.

Consuela, on the other hand, is starting to concern me.