Daughter Daughter

"Daughter," God says to me as I try to regain my balance on the mountain side. It's a bit crumbly where I am; and I'm barefoot -- so I have to distribute my weight carefully.

"God?" I say. I can't really see him because there is too much mist. "I can't see you," I tell him, "Can you maybe do something about all this mist, and maybe...some shoes if you don't mind?"

A moment later the landscape transforms from a cliff-like mountaintop; to lush hillside. Red poppies scatter across the field, and the sun peaks out from behind the clouds every so often.

"God?" I say, assuming the sun is him. It's not like I've met him face-to-face before.

"Karen," he says back. I still can't see him. I look down at my feet and see a nice pair of silver slippers...they fit perfectly. I give him a thumbs up -- where ever he may be and say, "Thanks for the shoes!"

It's silent for a while, so I take a stroll on the hillside. I like it here. Peaceful. Quiet. Safe. I take off my slippers for a moment and let the grass tickle the bottoms of my feet. I can feel the warmth of the sun on my legs and arms; and the moment I think I might need some sunblock a large sunhat appears on my head. It's red, with a large brim. Like a lady at the horse track in the 1920s.

A bench materializes in front of me and so I walk over to it and take a seat. I put my slippers beside me on the bench. Since the ground isn't a rocky mountainside, I don't really feel the need for them right this second.

A moment later God appears and takes a seat beside me. Indigo and white light flow like electric currents out from him; it travels through my heart before leaving my body and continues flowing through the air. A moment later the light passes through a rabbit that is munching a flower; and then travels around the bend.

"What seems to be the problem?" he says. I think he's trying not to laugh. There's a sparkle in his eyes...so I know on some level that he thinks my little act of rebellion is funny.

"I hate it down there." I say to him. I feel bad that I'm being so negative...and even now, having not been on Earth for a few minutes; I'm almost forgetting how painful it really is...but, since I've come this far in my decision not to return -- I might as well be honest about how I feel.

At least...I think I still feel that way.

"The problem isn't Earth." he says with a big smile. It must be so funny to him; knowing everything that he knows and watching the rest of us stumble our way through it.

"Uh....yeah the problem is Earth." I say to him with a sharp tone. If the problem wasn't Earth and all it's friggen crap then maybe I would still be down there...

"No, it's not." he says, trying to hold back the laughter. "The problem...little one...is how you react to Earth."

There's silence.

I wait for him to say something else, but he doesn't. He leans back on the bench and closes his eyes to bake in the sun for a moment while I process what he just told me.

"Well, how else am I suppose to react?" I ask him. He can't just bait me with an answer like that and expect me not to want some more information.

"Uh...not the way you've been acting -- that's for sure. Poor me. All about me. My life is so difficult. I was a child genius. No one appreciates me. Blah. Blah. Blah. It's nauseating how self-absorbed you really are. That is the reason you're having problems." he says and the indigo light pours thicker. I feel a waive of euphoric energy pass through me; and I take a moment to recuperate from the jolt of it all.

"Uh...I don't think you're entirely right on that." I say, "I'm a good person -- it's not my fault that I'm having such a hard time finding love, solidarity, or a fledgling career. There's demons...remember?" I tell him matter-of-fact. I want to cross my arms, but I can't because the energy is pouring into my heart.

"Uh...first off," he says mocking my voice, "the demons can't harm you if you don't let them. You have the seed of the entire universe inside of you. Second, the love -- the solidarity...the career -- you'll never be satisfied by any of those things. That's why you're depressed. You're looking for external validation."

I sit for a moment and process what he just said. I guess I am a bit depressed...

"I didn't create you so you could focus only on yourself. You're there to share. It's the only way you'll ever feel complete as an entity. Give and you'll receive. It's a universal law because I designed it that way." he says. He's not smiling at me anymore.

"But I do share," I say back in my defence.

"No you don't -- not at the level that you need to really fulfill you. Your depression comes from not giving of yourself as much as you need to...you're too afraid."

I think about what he says for a moment. Is that really the answer? Stop being afraid and just give more of yourself?

"You need to deliver the information more softly, remember -- she's still learning," says a woman who walks over to me and kisses me on the forehead. Pink and white light flow from out of her, through God, and my heart, and the little rabbits that run around the field.

They both speak in unison, "Karen, what are you so afraid of? We've given you the power of words...so now, now my dear -- you need to go off and use it. Share what knowledge you have and not be afraid of what that exposure will do to you."

Then only the woman speaks softly, "Nothing bad will ever happen to you. Do you think that we designed the world so you would suffer? You're not suppose to suffer. You're suppose to enjoy your life -- in abundance; and to the fullest."

I shake my head -- because I'm pretty sure when I was down there I tried to do that -- and it didn't work.

"Am I your daughter?" I say to God...who I now understand to be both of these entities in front of me...and watching the energy pour from both of them into everything around us; including myself -- I think I get what they mean when they say I have the seed of the Universe inside of me.

"You're all our sons and daughters. You're us, just in the flesh -- and we want you to succeed spiritually. Look how far you've come!" she proclaims, "before you descended you were never attune enough to be able to talk to us. Just look at you now!" she says with a smile.

I know that if I could be able to tap into her while I was on Earth, it might not be so bad...

"You've come so far, there's no need to give up just yet. Share more of yourself -- stop being so afraid; and you'll see. The depression will lift. You will be happy."

"I will be happy..." I repeat softly, as we all stand. They link arms and walk beside me. The pink and indigo streams of energy channel stronger through my heart; and I feel rejuvenated.

"Karen," they say "this is the truth of who you are. Just look for us in your heart, and we'll be there -- you needn't look towards anything else. And..." they say with a smile, "you'll be surprised how when you stop looking towards others to fill the void; how very quickly they will all rise to the occasion."

I believe them. At least, I so very much want to believe them. It sounds so simple. Could it be?

"OK," I say and nod. "I'll give it another go,"

And a moment later I feel the whoosh of being sucked back into my body.