Hungry Lions

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit." I mutter quietly to myself. I'm having a terret-like reaction to the predicament.

My roommate seethes to me through clenched teeth, "I swear to God, Karen. Shut the fuck up!"

Our guide glares at us both as he slowly pulls the double-barrel shotgun out from under the passenger seat of the open top Jeep that we, and 6 others, are sitting in. He doesn't say a word. The whites of his eyes are glistening in the dark night; as the moon dances in and out of the clouds.

I think I have to pee!

I grab onto the underside of my knees and bend forward while a wave of nausea flows through me. This is not good.

As the other Jeeps slowly back away and disappear into the dark night, we are left alone -- here in the Sahara; between the elephants and a herd of hungry lions.

"Do not move." Our guide says to us. I try my hardest not to move, but I'm shaking. The pride has completely surrounded us. A few moments ago, we had moved in further towards the elephants to let a Jeep filled with drunken Japanese tourists have a closer look; and somehow, we accidentally antagonized the lions that were hiding in the bushes.

My thoughts race. Is this really how I'm going to die? Ravaged by lions in the middle of the African jungle at the tender age of 23? I knew this would happen! What idiot completes their life list of "things to do before they die" at the age of friggen 23?!?! I was asking for it! Number 10 was watch a sunset from the rocks at the southern point of Capetown. I did that a few days ago after having the most amazing pasta dinner. And now, I'm gonna die...a very bloody and painful death.

We've been instructed what to do in this situation. Do not move. The lions will see the entire vehicle as one large creature. If we move -- they will begin to decipher us as smaller prey. Our only hope is stay extremely still. And silent.

I try to look to Jen out of the corner of my right eye. I don't dare move. I don't want to provoke a hungry lion to lunge into the Jeep. Jen is looking down. Her hands are on her knees. I can't tell what she is thinking. I'm pretty sure she's scared too.

The other Jeeps are gone. They've reversed back a few hundred yards to safety. I think about my short life. How I haven't accomplished all I had hoped for myself. Sure, I've had great experiences -- but; well... does anyone really want to die at 23? I start to think about how my mother will receive the news...how her thoughts will immediately go to the pain I must have suffered having meat ripped from my very bones as lions ravaged me in the middle of a Safari.

I've been in South Africa for almost a month. I had some vacation stored from my first year in Japan and so, when my roommate invited me to come down and backpack with her around the country -- I booked the next available flight. After all, I had 'view a sunset from the rocks at Capetown' on my life to-do list. This was perfect!

Unfortunately, South Africa wasn't. Ravaged by apartheid, it lacked a social solidarity. Racism ran high. Anger was rampant amongst the people. Everyone had a gun. It was May 2000; and the country lacked police. I was terrified the entire time I was there. Having just left the safe womb of innocent southern, sub-tropical Japan; I was plunked into the equivalence of Hell on Earth. Hatred. Oppression. Fear.

I was petrified. I couldn't sleep at night. It was the strangest most saddest paradox of a country; the most beautiful landscape I had ever seen, juxtaposed with the most backward and violent society. In my four weeks there, I lived behind gated communities -- met rape victims, witnessed a murder; and narrowly escaped a hijacking one night.

My nerves were shot. When we were presented the opportunity to go on a Safari, I went running to the nearest plane. I would rather take my chances with the animals!

But a few days later, here I was. The gamble hadn't paid off. We were forever going to be one of those myths that people hear about; that group that was ravaged by lions one night while watching a herd of elephants.

I look as far ahead as I can without moving my body. My eyes strain to roll to the tops of my sockets to see over our guide and try and figure out what is happening with the elephants. There's a mother; and a baby, and maybe an older calf. It's the mother all on her own.

I have no idea what is going to happen. One of lions walks to the right of our Jeep. I can smell her. She's so close. All week long I had been dying to see a lion - gazelles and hippos were boring me. But, here I was -- a little too close for comfort.

The sweat pours silently down my arms. I can't tell if I've just peed myself? For a moment, my thoughts are frozen.

Seconds feel like hours as we sit there in absolute stillness. In the background I can hear some people from the other Jeeps making noise. They are quickly hushed by their guide. A moment later I hear them drive away. I guess, he figures the safest course of action is to remove them altogether. But that's one less gun to help us out should we need it -- which we most certainly will.

I'm in the middle seat in the middle row. I'm surrounded by other bodies. I have no idea what I'm going to do if someone is ravaged right beside me.

A tear silently falls down my left cheek; as I try to control my shivering.

I start praying to God. I firstly apologize for being a hypocrite and only calling out to him when I really need him; but then I also thank him for being there for me. I keep repeating the same word over and over again. Please. Please. Please.

The lion to our right starts to growl. I think she is commanding someone else in the pride to do something. Just then there is a thump. I don't dare move my head for fear of killing someone with my movement. I strain my eyes to the top of their sockets and see that one of the lions has jumped on the hood of our Jeep.

Holy Fuck!

And then, I pee myself.

As I close my eyes and brace the attack, another lion begins to run to our left. I see her yellow coat streak by me. She is lunging for the elephants.

I open my eyes and strain to see out of the tops of my eye sockets again. The mother elephant has lifted her front two legs and is screaming in agony as the lion approaches. In an instant; she rips out the tree to her left and tosses it on the ground.

They are not taking her baby without a fight.

The lion on the hood jumps down to help in the attack. The pride begins to creep past our Jeep and close in on the elephants.

That instant, our guide quickly jumps into the drivers' seat and guns us in reverse so fast that some of us fall on top of each other. I slide on my own urine and land on the floor as we reel backwards at 100 km an hour. "Shit. Shit. Shit." I keep saying quietly to myself.

In 20 seconds we've managed to pull away to safety. I lived! I peed my pants! I saw lions!!!

And, as we drove off into the night, I think we all had the same sense of relief from that very real near-death experience. And as I apologize to everyone for pissing in the Jeep; we did the only thing that came natural to us, given the situation.

We laughed.