Thoughts from a treadmill

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

Why did I let myself get so fat?

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

I always get so fat in relationships.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

I gained at least 18 pounds in this last one...

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

Is the weight gain directly proportional to my level of happiness?

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

I'm not sweating yet. Does this mean I'm toxic?

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

I hate coming here. I hate the gym. I hate the way...

Thk. Thk. Thk. Thk. Thk Thk. Thk. Thk.

What the hell?
Why did it speed up?!?

Thk. Thk. Thk. Thk. Thk. Thk. Thk. Thk.

My heart!
My lungs!!
I can't feel my legs!!?!?

Dee-deet. Deet. Deet.

There. That speed should be better.

Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp.

I like this speed.

Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp.

I can actually think at this speed. I can look around. Enjoy the sights... He's cute. Too bad he's flaming gay.

Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp.

Why are all the good looking ones gay? It just seems really unfair. Why do us hetero girls have to deal with leftover quasi-attractive trash?

Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp.

It's the not-so-good looking ones that give you a hard time. They have something to prove. Like, they didn't get enough action when they were younger -- so now that they're in their 30s; and the pickings are slim, (and they KNOW this) they are wreaking havoc on us leftover girls who have no choice but to date them...because after all; we're not getting any younger and we have to keep our options open.

Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp.

But are they appreciative? No. You think that after waiting so long to get with the goods they would revel in it. Marvel after it! But they don't. They get greedy. Deluded. Their egos take over. They realize that they have the upper hand. So...screw all us nice girls that happen to still be single in our 30s. There's plenty of us -- few of them. They take full advantage of the situation before they finally settle for some uncomplicated girl in her 20s...because girls in their 20s have less expectations. I know I did.

Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp.

I need to get skinny again; like how I was in my 20s. I had more control then. I'm powerless as a fatty.

Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp.

Is it normal to feel the fat jiggling behind your knees?

Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp.

Maybe I should increase the speed?

Dee-deet. Deet.

That should help burn a few more calories...

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

I'm really not cut out for this...

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

No more relationships until I'm a size 2 again!

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

OK. I lied. I've never been smaller than a size 4.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Do I even have anything left in my closet from when I was size 4?

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Run through the pain...Run through the pain...you won't die...you can do it...

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

You...won't...die...

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

One...more...minute...

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

You can do it. Almost...there...

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Ten...more...seconds...

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Thump. Thump.

Dee-deet. Deet. Dee-deet.

Walk it out.

Thwooom. Thwooom. Thwooom.

I did this to myself. I have no one to blame but myslef. I chose to shove my face with nachos when things were going awry. I chose to snuff the pain with food. This is all my fault. I have no one to blame for my fat ass but myself. The mirrors don't lie. Look at it! Look at your gargantuous ass, Karen! LOOK AT IT! REMEMBER IT! REMEMBER HOW MUCH YOU HATE RUNNING ON THIS DAMN THING THE NEXT TIME YOU CHOOSE TO SHOVE YOUR FACE WITH FOOD!

Thwooom. Thwooom. Thwooom.

I can't believe the size of my ass is directly proportionate to how much I hate my life.

Thwoom. Thwooo--

Deeeeeeeeet.

Porcelain-Moby @ Yahoo! Video