Peer Pressure

It's taken me 32 years to realize that the only person that can give you any sound advice when it comes to relationships, is yourself. It's funny, isn't it? We sound off to anyone and everyone who will listen to us, in order to get a glimpse of insight as to what they might do. Each one tells you of their story, or their friend's story, and you think that maybe what worked for them will maybe work for you. Maybe...

But it doesn't.

At the end of the day -- you are the only person who is accountable to you. You are the one who has to live with the guilt and remorse of any decision you make. No one else does. And to be brutally honest, while your friends do want to see you happy, they don't really care. They can't. Their too busy living their own lives and dealing with their own problems to weigh in on what you should or shouldn't do. Adults have to make decisions for themselves.

I've had numerous "sessions" with friends over the years. When I was younger, their advice was something of a god-send to me. The skies would open up and I would take their words to heart -- often doing the very thing that my instinct told me I shouldn't do.

Here's the thing: people can only tell you what they would do. What works for them. How they see the world. You can't ask anyone to comment on your world, unless they have actually lived your exact life. Maybe -- if they really have an insider's perspective on your situation they can tell you what they think you should do. But it always boils down to personal preference. What works for one person won't work for another. We're all made very different. As such, we tolerate (and react) to life circumstances depending on our own individual make up.

I have friends who are very happy in situations that would suffocate me. Conversely, I have friends who are miserable in situations that would elate me.

So, I learned, after 32 years of sounding off to anyone and everyone that would listen -- that I really needed to start having a conversation with myself. What did I want? What would make me truly happy? Where was I at in such-and-such situation? By taking my own sage advice (as the only person who truly knows me) I start to guide myself in a direction that is reflective of the type of life that I want. I start to trust myself a bit more. Because, deep down inside all of us, are the real answers to any situation.